When one door closes…

red door

A very extraordinary person in my life has been struggling for over a year. She is an amazing, smart, talented, funny and loving person. Sometimes life can really deal a shit hand that turns your world upside down. Basically the poker hand she just got dealt was 7/2 off-suit. When that happens it is really easy to get focused on negative thoughts and feelings about our situation. We feel like folding and giving up.

It is important to remember that when life gets challenging understanding the Pareto Principle helps us gain perspective. When we apply this  principle, we will appreciate that 80% of our problems comes from about only 20% of our life. The strategy is to capitalize on the 80% of our life that is awesome, blessed and filled with promise while letting go of what sucks.

We sometimes can improve the negative 20% but other times we need to move past it, ignore it, hit the delete key and erase what does not fit in our future. Its easy for our minds drift back to that 20% over and over again.

When it feels like we have been sucker punched, stand up shake it off with our chins held high. Rewind and hit the stop button like you would on the remote control. We are in control of our thoughts. When a negative thought plays over and over in my head I have learned to say out loud, STOP. Sometimes I have to say it a few times over and over, STOP, STOP, STOP. Then I backspace and hit the delete key in my mind.

Sometimes the cliche, pejorative statements people say to us are heartfelt but they don’t cut the pain. We know these statements…

  • Take the high road,
  • When one door closes another opens,
  • Crisis as an opportunity for change,
  • What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,
  • God doesn’t give you more than you can handle in a day.

Well, as we know if we are hurting, sometimes it feels like we rolled down the high road, the door closed on our toes, the crisis is never ending, we feel dead and God must have given us the whole neighborhoods problems today by mistake.

door stays shut2The other day this extraordinary person taught me another strategy to get past the negative in life. Laugh, laugh a lot and focus on something funny in life and enjoy it as much as we can. She shared this quote that proves to me, she has started her journey of healing. While it might take a while, focusing on the 80% of good in our life, laugh as much as we can and nail the door shut so the bitch stays closed is essential to launch into the future.

Published by John Chianelli, Writer

I am second. I will share my experiences, as a child of God, husband to Daniel, father, best friend, brother, son, leader, professor, writer and photographer. My intention for this blog is to be random, with no plan, no list, no direction and no expectations. Very different from how I lived my past life. My journey has been blessed by the mercy and grace of God and unwavering love. I hope you enjoy reading and sharing my experiences of hurts, laughter, discovery, friendships, Christ, and my family. Temenos is a safe circle where you can be yourself with peace of mind. Temenos originates from a Greek word which refers to a universal instinct to create a protected, safe space in which to heal, restore and regenerate yourself. My temenos circle is a place to be still and seek Jesus. It becomes my place to pray, reflect in the word of our Lord to shrink, grow in him, and heal my soul. What is your temenos circle? By: John Chianelli ©John Chianelli and Temenos Circle. 2016-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided the full and clear credit is given to John Chianelli and Temenos Circle with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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