The past few weeks I have spoken at the university, a few conferences and meetings about building on the strengths of others in our relationships. Some of the talks have been with physicians, therapists nurses or simply people living life. The message that I shared was leveraging our personal strength and the strength of others. Relationships are vital to all parts life. Business, family, pleasure, love, romantic, friend, neighbor and God are the most important relationships in our life. We certainly get a lot of practice being in relationships yet they are a challenge. Power and control was a fundamental theme among all groups. Being in control and having things your way complicated each of our discussions.
How did the rules of power in a relationship become so central to failure?
These discussions have me reflecting how easy it is for us to focus on all the negatives in our relationships. We get stuck in complaining about why someone hasn’t called, planned a date or been there when you needed support. The relationship tug-of-war over who gets to choose the vacation, dinner, movie or the control of budget creates to many expectations, complicating our relationships. That said, it is these conflicts in life that prepare us for challenges that are big. The little stuff helps get ready for he discussions in life that really matter. The decisions that could affect your whole life are the ones that are most important. The constant push back push back of conflict is what pushes us to compromise and trust that is important to make the relationship solid.
A relationship is like flying a kite. The wind is so strong pushing against the kite as it struggles to take flight. The pushing of the wind however is what puts the kite into flight. The kite struggles against the wind, creating tension on the string while directionless trying to take flight. The negotiation with the wind sometimes causes the kite to crash. When the kite crashes most of the time it is strong enough to right itself and push forward against the wind and take flight. Soaring higher into the sky consistently negotiating changes in direction. The push of the gusts, together the wind, the kite perfectly dances in the sky. In flight the kite and the wind dance together in love.