Presence and intent

As I stumbled to the coffee pot the white board on the refrigerator stopped me. The white board is the white shiny surface with multiple color markers like the ones you see hanging in corporate offices. In the office you might see the agency vision, the strategy and all the plans for the company to prosper or meet its mission.

On my white board you typically will see the “to-do” list which easily can have 16-25 tasks that should be accomplished before Monday. As I thought about it I felt angy because we can spend all week scheduling moving from one appointment or task to another. Many of us experience 8-10 hours a days and 5 days a week without fail. We drone from one task to another to another, sipping as much coffee or coke as possible to make it through the day.

Today, I grabbed a napkin, got it wet and decided to erase the entire list. As I stood there in panic thinking, “What had I just done?” I have no way to recall what is on that list. Thoughts raced through my brain like, “What will get forgotten?,” “There will be mistakes!”, “Everything will be wrong!.” There it was for the first time…..an empty grease board void of a list that would keep so busy through the day I would not even have felt it. It was scary. I stood there frozen almost paralyzed by the fear of what would happen if I did not carry out the things on the list. I stared blankly at the white board. I felt weakness in my knees as my stomach sunk in the moment. I was upset and seriously did not know what to do next.

In that moment I picked up the marker and started to make a new list. This list seemed to flow easily without thought. It organically flowed right from the core of my being. It was as though I could not stop my hand as the words feverishly appeared on the white board. The content was very different than usual. I put on my headphones sat in front of the refrigerator on a chair and looked at the list. Reflecting that moment where these feelings orginated.

How these feelings appear on the white board so quickly?

What did it mean?

There is no question what we all need to carry out tasks in support our existence. Working, taking care of our houses or apartments and accomplishing all the tasks essential for life are all important. In the world of immediate connection through electronic life, it’s so easy to effortlessly be linked but never really be communicating. While we are more electronically connected than ever, we seem to have the least communication. We do not hear people’s voices or see their expressions.  We are absent of the human closeness that comes from physical presence. Essentially we are missing the most important components of communication. Is our human connection and communication lost in cyberspace?

As I gazed at the white board the importance of being present in life came into focus. As I reflected on the week I thought about all the times this week, I was multi-tasking maybe having 5 windows open on my computer flipping between sessions while I was texting someone even while I might have talked with someone on the phone.

You know what I am talking bout right smart phone users?

The intent to be present was obvious in this list. It was clearer than ever before. Do one thing at a time, enjoy it, have the intent, be present the entire time from start to finish. Live in the moment with peaceful existence so you experience all that life has to offer.

The message on the refridgerator was simply got clear as I stared longer. The hidden in the message was the feeling of freedom released as the first list vanished immediately followed by regret and panic followed by wholeness and understanding.

What did this all mean?

Then out of nowhere the message was delivered.

In life sometimes are strongest moments come from those times when we are the weakest.

Shaking my head in agreement, I thought today is a great day to live in weakness.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Mountaintops and Valleys.”