Broken dreams

 

I was traveling with friends on a business trip where we speaking at a conference in downtown LA. One of my friends, Rachel suggested that find the cheesiest open bus tour of Hollywood to soak up the experience. The cheesy tour in all of its glory was perfect including a want-to-been actor as a tour guide. It was an open-air tour bus, that had a flat tire and a dead battery.

It was perfect for an early evening of laughter as we decided it must have been happy hour somewhere in the world at 3 pm. During a stroll on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, another friend Dawn said she was thinking about miles of cheap high-rise apartments full of wanna-be actors. Hundreds of plastic young people living in rooms awaiting the first big break in life to be famous. She turned to me and said, “I can’t imagine all the broken dreams that exist in this city.”

Do you ever imagine waiting your whole life for something you dreamed of without it becoming a reality? Do you ever imagine the longing feeling for the perfect job, intimate relationship or unconditional love when you are full of dreams. Do you ever imagine being in love your soulmate? Your first true love?

I remembered being an 18 year-old, when life seemed so possible and anything felt attainable. It felt like there was a life ahead full of promise. I am sure you remember that invincible feeling of power in your heart as you spun a fantasy of the future. What did that image look like for you? I remember wanting to have a career, being successful, living in house and raising a family. I thought it would be amazing to serve the poor or those who were less fortunate. I loved to be on a campus, be around the excitement of learning new possibilities of science, invention and the future.

This past week I was talking with someone I met for the first time and he asked, “At this stage of your life, what did you dream your life would look like?” The question took my breath away. The silence in the room was so heavy I thought he could hear my heart beat. I stared at him, puzzled by the question. I was perplexed with wonder of how to answer that question. I could not answer him.

My thoughts raced as I thought to myself, “Have I forgotten to dream?” Could it be possible to be so caught up in the day-to-day cycle of life that we forget to dream about a possible future. The truth filled my heart, I didn’t imagine the second half of my life. In that moment it was impossible to have that same sense of wonder and amazement as I did when I was a young man.

Ridiculously, I was reminded of a scene from the movie Under the Tuscan Sun. Frances became saddened as she felt she had built a dream, around a life she didn’t have.  Martini reminded Frances it was true, she may not received all of her dreams of in way she wished. However he said she needed to look deeper at her life.

As she reflected, she could see that God provided her with everything she dreamed. She realized that her dreams didn’t come the way she wanted them packaged, ordered or in her timeframe.

I guess sometimes we have dig deeper into our souls to find our truth whether we are full of dreams, have broken dreams or have forgotten to dream at all.

 

 

 

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